March 09 Edition: Issues of Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse

Welcome to the March 31, 2009 edition of recovery from childhood sexual abuse.This edition was dedicated to exploring issues of male survivors of sexual
abuse have to deal with. It was intriguing for me to notice the gender divide when it comes to surviving sexual abuse. Blogs that were submitted here seem to deal either with issues concerning women or concerning men.

Having read all the submitted blog posts I am sure that both men and women will find the articles interesting – and at times disturbing. There is a lot to do in the fight to stop child sexual abuse. As always, a special THANK YOU to all readers for their contributions. I trust you will
have an interesting read and I am looking forward reading your feedback
if you have any!

PARASITES OF THE MIND: Healing PTSD: Ten Reasons Not to Talk About It; And the One Reason You Really, Really Should posted at PARASITES OF THE MIND, saying, "In order to heal we must speak." Read why it is important for your recovery from sexual abuse to speak.

How To Handle A School Yard Bully posted at Concerning Kids. This article describes simple techniques of how to deal with bullying.

Male Victims of Sexual Abuse posted at Child Abuse Blog. addressing statistics about sexual abuse of males and why men struggle with disclosing their sexual abuse.

Medical Advisor Journals—-Sexual Dysfunction Articles Written By Friends and Health Experts posted at Article 10302-Sexual Dysfunction. exploring whether keeping your sexual abuse a secret is getting in the way of healing from sexual abuse.

Breathe posted at Toy Soldiers. Read this post about pushing feelings down and keeping oneself distant from others.

What about when MOM is the abuser?: Mother-Son sexual abuse posted at What about when MOM is the abuser?. This post explores the complex issues and problems that come when mothers sexually abuse their sons.

The Leadership Council – 8 Myths About Child Sexual Abuse posted at The Leadership Council. This post is not specifically geared towards issues that concern male survivors of sexual abuse, however, it is here included because it addresses comprehensively the most common myth that sexual abuse survivors (males and females) have to deal with.

MenWeb – Dating Violence: Men's Reactions to Female Sexual Coercion posted at MenWeb. saying One of the long-standing myths about sexual abuse is that men or boys are rarely victims of sexual abuse, especially with women as the sexual aggressors—that a woman cannot make a man have sex with her against his will. This timely article by the Doctors Struckman-Johnson helps to disabuse us of this myth. Prevailing stereotypes about boys and men are that they must "want it." Stereotypes about women's physical weakness, disinterest in sex, sex-role passiveness and gentle nature lead many people to assume that women are not capable of such an act,

Holly's Fight for Justice: Ontario-wide strategy needed for male sex abuse victims, inquiry told posted at Holly's Fight for Justice. saying Male victims of childhood sexual abuse need specialized support services and a provincial ombudsman dedicated to their plight, the Cornwall inquiry heard Friday as the $40-million probe drew to a close after three years of testimony.

Is True Masculinity Possible For Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse? posted at Julie Posey Blog. saying Gary had always felt like he was overly emotional. His wife Judith was the only person with whom he shared his fears and vulnerabilities. In fact, she was the only one who knew about his history of sexual abuse. He didn’t dare show sadness or grief among his male friends for fear of endless mocking. All of his life Gary felt that he had to adhere to the belief that “boys don’t cry”. Being a man meant keeping a “stiff upper lip” under any circumstances.

Myths of Male Rape posted at Kaili Boyd. saying Having myself been a survivor I also thought of rape as something that couldn’t happen to men outside of a prison setting. It was also surprising to me to talk to an advocate who spoke of adult males being raped by women, because as he put it – and I quoted him in the story “our physiology betrays us”. Wow…I mean women feel guilty enough because wheather you are responsive to it or not, you are almost powerless to stop it.

Victory Over Sexual Abuse: Male survivors posted at Victory Over Sexual Abuse. saying At the risk of being socially and politically incorrect, I want to say a few things about male survivors. I feel as if society treats sexual abuse differently, depending on the victim's gender. Take the recent stories you've heard on the news of female teachers having relationships with male students. That is abuse, but many times society is sending the wrong message to those young boys.

BOOKS ON MEN'S ISSUES . . . . . posted at Men's Groups – Care, Feeding (and Starting), saying, "This blog provides an extensive list of books that deal with issues male survivors of sexual abuse are facing."

Just Like A Man: Male rape – a hidden crime posted at Like A Man. saying "The impact of rape on blokes shares many similarities with that of female victims but there are some significant differences: though women feel incredible shame and humiliation, this is often amplified in male victims because of the gender expectation that they should have been able to defend themselves,

MST survivors need rights! posted at a males life after rape. saying There was once a time when I thought I had been the only one. Never had it crossed my mind there was anyone else that had experienced the same kind of fears brought on by being a sexual assault survivor.

Get Real! Healing and Dealing with Triggers as a Male Survivor | RHRealityCheck.org posted at Reproductive Health | RHRealityCheck.org. saying I'm a 18 year-old male. I was raped twice in my life (6 and 10 years old) and I took it pretty well. My life was quite normal until now, and had no problems with girls. I never had a girlfriend, never been the type who commit, but I'd had a lot of sex with a lot of girls. Two weeks ago I had contact with the man who attacked me when I was 10. Since then I've having nightmares and have been remembering all what happened.

Ciara Leeming: boys don't cry posted at Ciara Leeming. saying Male rape is rarely discussed in our culture, apart from the odd gag about dropping the soap in the prison showers.
Yet studies suggest one in seven UK rape victims could be male, while one in four men may have sufffered childhood sexual abuse.

Close to Home: A Friends Story of Abuse and Survival posted at Lost in a Sense. saying This is between you and me but I was also abused as a kid and not that many people know because of the fact I hate when they feel sorry for you.
I don’t need pitty from them, I am as normal as the next guy but had a really tough experience. You know what I am talking about. I guess it just really hit home because I have had the same feeling when people say “oh he’s gay” and I am always getting angry. I also have alot of gay friends and they don’t know what has happened to me, but they always ask why I get so defensive.

Female Sexual Abuse posted at Seven Castles. saying For a variety of societal reasons, female sexual abuse is likely to remain unnoticed. Some researchers have found that the incidence of sexual contact with boys by women is much more prevalent than is contended in the clinical literature. Despite society's increasing concern about sexual assault, there may be several reasons for the under-reporting of female sexual abuse of both child and adult victims.

Male Survivors on Their Sexual Life as Children posted at Mental Wellbeing. saying Secret sexual activity of men often begins with childhood sexual victimization according to mental health professionals interviewed by Think & Ask news. Adult men often seek help only after events in their lives cause them to fall from grace, into addiction, or to stop from acting out in behavior they cannot control. In their struggle to cope however there is hope, healing, and happiness say male survivors.

Men can be victims too! posted at Start Life Today. saying Men can also be victims of sexual abuse. A gay victim may be raped by their partner, suffering all the agonies any other rape victim would. Many men in abusive relationships do not feel in control of their own sex life, their partners may demand or coerce intercourse, may make derisory comments about their manhood or ridicule them in public.

Male Survivors Weekend posted at Survivors Swindon, saying, "This is the announcement of a weekend retreat for male survivors in the UK. Although we usually do not advertise for people, it seems to be a great initiative to help men in their recovery."

Keith Smith posted at Violence UnSilenced. saying The following survivor story was written by Keith Smith, who is breaking his 34-year silence with his book, Men in My Town, scheduled for release late-March on Amazon.com. – I was abducted, beaten and raped by a stranger. It wasn’t a neighbor, a coach, a relative, a family friend or teacher. It was a recidivist pedophile predator who spent time in prison for previous sex crimes; an animal hunting for victims in the quiet, bucolic, suburban neighborhoods of Lincoln, Rhode Island.

MY STORY posted at My Journey as a Male Survivor of Childhood Sexual Assault. saying When a young man is raped, it will usually go un-reported, why because he may feel guilty, shame, as well as thinking that it is his own fault, and also he may feel less than a man, so he keeps it a secret and may not tell anyone.

That concludes this edition. The next edition, due the first week in May will be under the heading: DEALING WITH CRISIS!  I am looking forward to a wide range of interesting submissions. Submit your blog article to the next edition of
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