Category Archives: Living with DID
Internal Warfare
A reader of this blog commented yesterday on my post “Achieving Co-consciousness” and described in deeply touching words the heartache of living with so much fear, not knowing, not understanding, and internal dissonance. Reading the comment I got a really good feel for the ‘outside’ people who try to manage the everyday life as best as possible, …
Letter To My Younger Self
Today I came across a lovely blog post from a fellow blogger. The title is “Letter to My Younger Self”. I became curious to see what Rachel (the blogger) wrote. Those of you who know me will understand that: I hold the strong belief that a big part of the recovery journey is to find a …
Can You Trust Your Feelings?
A big part of recovery from the legacies of sexual abuse is getting to a point where you have a sense of control over your emotional states. That means not to be thrown around all the time – or a lot of the time – by feelings of hurt, anxiety, fear, panic, suspicion, envy, hopelessness,"self-loathing, …
The Creation and Integration of Parts ‘Outside’ of the System
One way to understand the creation of parts is to believe that every part of a multiple has been created to help. Even though we don’t quite know the process by which parts are created, we can assume that by creating parts the human survival instinct has somehow found a way to guarantee that the …
Re-enactment of Trauma
Yesterday a comment had been posted asking whether it is OK to discuss self-abuse on this site. I had a look through my postings so far and did not find any specifically addressing self-harming issues. I thought it’s a very important issue for many survivors and will start off with some excerpts from the book ‘Traumatic …
What’s When You Have A Gay Part?
I have often experienced that a multiple has parts that are gay. As a matter of fact, I don’t think there are many people who are either 100% heterosexual or 100% gay. Most people can be located somewhere on a continuum between <gay and straight>. I can imagine that it feels more absolute and set …
Achieving Co-Consciousness: Healing Narcissistic Self-Parts
In general I have a great aversion against labels – certainly against psychiatric labels that put a person into a defined box. Labels often have a stigma attached to the, for example DID, borderline, bipolar, or narcissistic. I am going to use narcissistic self parts here because if anyone wants to read up on this …
Achieving Co-Consciousness: Self-Acceptance-And-Love
On the first glance people may ask “What has co-consciousness to do with loving yourself and accepting all the different parts of you?” My answer to that is “Everything!” If there is a part of you that you dislike, are afraid of, or even feel disgust for, you will stay away from that part ‘full …
The Body Pays The Price
Leonie was very tired. Her shoulders have dropped and her head had fallen forward resting on her chest. Unable to muster the strength needed for balancing her head upright on her fatigued body, Leonie feels the floor opening and becoming a vortex inviting her into the never ending downwards spiral. She hears a seductive whisper …
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