Category Archives: Relationships with Self
Right or Wrong?
My post about ‘Discounting the Past’ has generated comments that got me thinking about the nature of human existence. Let’s start with the biological fact that none of us is capable of experiencing a reality ‘out there’ that is shaped and made meaning of independently from what is already ‘in here’. “In Here” meaning our mental filters that …
A New Model Of Change
Many people want to make changes in their lives. It is obviously something very close to our heart because millions of people are making it their business to help others change: consultants, coaches, trainers, advisers, and therapists, to name just a few. Change can have many faces, but no matter what change people aim for, …
I Can’t Trust My Memories
Upon the Sharon Armstrong post from a wee while ago where I talked about NLP and eye accessing cues that can indicate whether a person is remembering or is constructing a memory, I received an email from a reader asking whether there would be a way for her to know whether she is making up what …
PTSD Viewed Through the Lens of 3 Principles
Those who have followed this blog are aware how intensive I have covered the issue of overcoming the legacies of abuse and neglect. The simple reason is because dealing with flashbacks, memories, anxiety, depression, sleep disturbances, and a toxic self perception seems to be the tragic struggle most survivors have in common. Not only that, it’s …
Letter To My Younger Self
Today I came across a lovely blog post from a fellow blogger. The title is “Letter to My Younger Self”. I became curious to see what Rachel (the blogger) wrote. Those of you who know me will understand that: I hold the strong belief that a big part of the recovery journey is to find a …
Self Criticism: Turning a Disaster into an Opportunity
Have you ever been consumed by thoughts like “I am useless, I am stupid, I never get things right”? I am sure you have. If we would research the prevalence of self-criticism, we would probably find that it exists in epidemic proportions. No matter how good your intentions were that motivated you to engage in …
Can You Trust Your Feelings?
A big part of recovery from the legacies of sexual abuse is getting to a point where you have a sense of control over your emotional states. That means not to be thrown around all the time – or a lot of the time – by feelings of hurt, anxiety, fear, panic, suspicion, envy, hopelessness,"self-loathing, …
A Hole in the Soul
The summit last June has created quite a bit of ripples and has been noticed not just in New Zealand, but also overseas. The following post is by a survivor who would have loved to be able to attend. She offered her 'Hole in the Soul' story as a way of supporting our aim to …
Do you have to hurt to heal?
Someone has told me yesterday how hard it is to see other people hurt. That on top of your own struggle with hurting, hoping and intermittently wanting to give up, is a roller coaster that has many survivors walking along a thin line between surviving and not surviving. Everyone has heard the proverb "It has to get …
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