Being Different

Behind Block Walls was caused by DID clients feeling very different to other people. Laliberte-Rudman (1999) remarked that in her focus groups connecting was intimately linked to being able to share and take part in activities like everybody else, which signified for her participants ‘being normal’. Not being different from others, being perceived as normal as well as feeling normal about oneself was intimately linked to being able to connect with others and constituted quality of life. The following statements express the need of participants in this study to ‘not be different’.

…like my friend who has not really much bad happen to her. I think she had a really good life. And she is very secure in herself. She knows what she wants, she goes for it and she gets it. She doesn’t have any baggage or anything else that inhibits her. …there is a difference between her and me that I cannot describe. She just has something that I don’t have. Like the self-assurance or self-esteem, or something. She has something I don’t have and I want it (Ruby 2/13).

I mean I always felt different. I wanted to fit in; I wanted to be the same. But I always felt different. I could never quite fit in, quite get on with other people. I think, when you forget things, forget conversations, and forget people sometimes…You understand, that can create problems (Sharon).

…she (therapist) actually got a group of her clients together as being sexually abused, and it was the most weirdest. My (DID) friend and I felt we were different to the rest (Katherine 1/2).

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