Letting Down Protective Walls

The Wall Another strong indicator for Repairing Broken Trust was when clients were able to let down their protective walls. Being able to be open to new experiences, to trust self and others, was a crucial condition for Making human contact.

"(What happened to your wall?) In some areas it’s still there. Not so thickly, it gets narrowed and I guess it gets more transparent. And in some place it’s not there at all. – Reconnecting, yeah, like learning to have a so-called normal whatever normal is, normal as in having an intimate relationship with somebody, having good friendship with somebody, having a relationship with your family, work relationship" (Carol).

Because it is something that I have not experienced before. I am trying to open myself up to it. The fact that he touches me and rubs parts of my body that nobody ever has been allowed to touch before, is all put down to fighting what I feel and my past experiences and just letting it go and seeing what happens from it (Krista).

In order to be able to have connections with people other than the therapist, some important shifts in the self-object needs of clients had to take place. For example it was important to realise that “it’s ok to be disappointed” (Katherine 3/1). When a person’s self system is strong enough to self-soothe, self-acknowledge, and self-nurture, a disappointment from another person will not be experienced as a ‘fatal’ injury. 

CONNECTING, the main concern of DID clients in this study meant in this stage that they were able to Repairing Broken Trust. For learning to trust the ‘other’ therapists needed to pay attention to transferential dynamics between their client and the other person. Skilful interpretation than helped clients to distinguish between ‘then’ and ‘now’.  That might mean for some re-visiting relationships and events that had shaped their clients mistrust in relationships.

5 thoughts on “Letting Down Protective Walls

  1. Uz says:

    Yeah!!! I think I know what you mean. Especially when it comes to having to write down what I have been doing with myself and when it asks personal questions about my mental health. So used to being judged and discriminated against. Although I am coming to a place where I know that the people who don’t understand our phenomenon or don’t want to accept it tend to be the worse, and they not worth trusting. With websites – I think it is important to be very paranoid what info you give over the internet. V

  2. Uz says:

    Yeah!!! I think I know what you mean. Especially when it comes to having to write down what I have been doing with myself and when it asks personal questions about my mental health. So used to being judged and discriminated against. Although I am coming to a place where I know that the people who don’t understand our phenomenon or don’t want to accept it tend to be the worse, and they not worth trusting. With websites – I think it is important to be very paranoid what info you give over the internet. V

  3. j says:

    I have got to stage in my journey that i can trust others or no when i can trust myself to tell me if i can trust them(most of the time)but when it come to signing up for sites on the computer or putting information on forms for people,this includes people trust and no well,i get totaly paranoid,and angry,im not sure where this comes from but is driving me nuts.Does anyone else out there experience this or have any suggestions

  4. Uz says:

    Does this mean that a person with DID cannot hope to have good relationships with people until they can self-soothe, self-acknowledge, and self-nurture. How does this have to do with trusting others?

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