Shifting sands was another indicator for living Behind Block Walls. One of the most prominent symptoms of DID was the shifting between personality states, or 'switching’ as DID clients call it. In the early treatment phase clients are often unaware of switching personalities. They were just as puzzled by their shifting as other people who came in contact with them. The fragmented self-system became a structural component of the wall that surrounded DID clients.
“my husband never knew who he would come home to” (Sharon)
…one of the things about DID that I found is, that permanence becomes a thing that exists for other people only. Because of the constant internal change that is going in, it tends to get reflected on the outside as well. So you are never with somebody long enough to actually establish a close relationship. Your whole world is completely changing all the time. It’s shifting. It’s like shifting sands…the difficulty was that different alters trusted different people. So I speak to one person I will be quite friendly one day and another day I would be… keep away! That side of it got quite difficult (Sharon).
It is that whole inconsistency thing. It drives us nuts. Because we desperately want to be the same like everybody else, but we can’t. We are not the same. And we are not, and it’s so hard. I just want to be like everybody else. I want to be normal, want to be able to maintain relationships wit people, but that is so hard (Ruby 2/10).