Dec 08/Jan 09 Edition: Husbands, Lovers, Partners

Welcome to the January 20, 2009 edition of recovery from childhood sexual abuse.This edition was dedicated to exploring issues that arise for survivors in their relationships, with husbands, partners, or lovers. I would like to thank all readers who posted so generously. Again the contributions are diverse and interesting. I am looking forward reading your feedback if you have any!


My True Self: Boundaries vs. Scaffolding posted at My True Self. Have you ever feared that setting boundaries keeps you from connecting with others? This blog post looks at the purpose of boundaries in relationships and suggests that maybe scaffolding is a better term to use. Check it out!

Co and counter dependency posted at imaginif. Megan Bayliss explains in detail the terms co-dependency and counter dependency and talks about the need to have your adult relationships 'sorted' to be a good role model for your children.


Christmas Blessings posted at Here and Now ~*~ 4 Angel~*~. Husbands and partners often have to stand in the side-lines of a survivors recovery, yet in many cases they play an important part of providing a safe container in which recovery can take place. This post acknowledges the important role they have!

It's Complicated………. posted at My Clouds, My Storms and Multiple Personality Disorder. describing the difficulty of feeling deeply for your husband while other parts feel rather indifferent towards him.

Internet Support: A Letter to My Therapist posted at Secret Shadows. saying "It’s just hard for him to understand why I would want to talk to someone else. But it’s priceless when you can tell someone something and they can respond, “Me, too.”, or they can say, “I understand”, and they really do. You understand?" – Finding a balance between support from your husband, groups, and therapist

#7 Playing with a Full Deck posted at Blast from the Past. Barbara Whittaker describes relating to others as playing with two decks of cards. She shows how the deck of cards from childhood with beliefs and values contaminated by abuse create difficulties in her life now.


Boundaries posted at This post is looking at boundaries from another angel. – " What you can do is listen without trying to fix or solve problems. You can hug and cry together. You can look for your own answers. Or not. … It is extremely difficult to simply let these things “be”. – "

'R'elationship posted at Crackers & Juice Boxes. This blog post shows the struggles and joys of starting a new relationships. How to manage intimate relationships while you are still recovering from sexual abuse – and how to deal with a therapist who thinks its the wrong thing to do!

The Manual posted at Jeff Vineburgh. This post offers really interesting and good information for partners of survivors. It's truly worth reading!


RELAPSE: OOPS!! posted at While On Life's Journey….., saying, "It is stated that there are approximately 11 phases leading to addiction relapse. MAx Fabry shares these phases and her insight."

The Danger In Criminal Profiling Alleged Rape Victims posted at abyss2hope: A rape survivor's zigzag journey into the open, saying, "Important information for those who are considering reporting their abuse." Marcella Chester clarifies the issues rape victims may encounter when they are giving evidence. PLEASE READ THIS if you consider reporting being abused.

Your role to prevent child molestation! posted at dratiffarid. This blog post not only demonstrates the importance of reporting child sexual abuse but also urges parents to takes preventative measures by talking to their child / children about being safe.


That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of
recovery from childhood sexual abuse
using our
carnival submission form. I have changed the order of the topics – the February edition (publishing date 28 February 2009 – send in your contributions by 25 February 2009) will deal with the difficult issue of shame.

Past posts and future hosts can be found on our

blog carnival index page

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