Childhood abuse, be it physical, emotional, mental, or sexual, has a lasting impact on people. Unfortunately, often they are not even aware that they are affected by it. They live out the abuse on a daily basis: by not trusting others or themselves, by being unable to feel, by being unable to regulate their emotions, by being distressed, reacting over the top, having no self-confidence, feeling depressed, anxious, suicidal. And the list could go on and on.
Many people I speak to tell me that they don't want to digg up the past, don't want to talk about it, don't want to open a can of worms, or don't feel able to deal with it. They want to get over it, leave things in the past, leave sleeping dogs lie!
Unfortunately it doesn't work like that. You either deal with it, or you live it. I often hear "I can't afford to see someone and deal with it". My response to that is "Can you afford NOT to deal with it?" People find money for cigarettes, alcohol, cars, mortgages, presents, friends, kids, … but not for themselves, not for their own mental sanity and well-being. This does not seem to be a priority in their lives. Off course, this too is a legacy of child abuse.
Read here how any childhood stress affects you and becomes deeply woven into your physical being, your identity, and your personality. Maybe it helps you to see clearer what your next steps are!