Summer Fun

Hello !

This is a reminder for all the kids out there – take care when you go to the beach! Make sure you are safe and most of all:

    protect yourself from the sun!

You can have lots of fun at the beach. You can collect beautiful shells, you can look for special stones and little rocks, you can find little swimming creatures in rock pools, or you can snorkel and pretend that you are a fish.

If you take a bucket and a little shovel, you can build a sand castle. Whatever you do, you can have lots of fun at the beach! Enjoy every moment!

If you want to see more bear pictures, go to the website where I found this photo.

ENJOY

Making Up Your Mind:

A particular problem often experienced by survivors of sexual abuse is that they have difficulty to 'do the right thing'. The question often is, is what I want or aim for something I really want or is it something I want because the abuse has conditioned me in a certain way? How will you know, what's good for you? How do you know that what you think is good for you really is good for you?

I remembered this morning a really good way of making up your mind. Have you ever heard of the "6 Thinking Hats?" They have been developed by Edward De Bono in the 1980's. It's a great way to look at a problem or an issue from all different sort of angles. Give it a try! You'll find the details about how to use this technique by following this link

Improving Internal Communication: The 6 Thinking Hats

Today I
am going be a bit technical. I would like to suggest a technique developed
by Edward De Bono in the 1980’s for communication with your system as you go
about negotiating decisions or look for solutions to problems.

De Bono
thought of six metaphorical hats a person can put on or take off, whereby each
of these hats represents a different way of thinking about a problem or
solution. Because of the different approach of each ‘hat’ to problem solving,
it increases the ease in which different parts of the self participate in the
exercise.

It’s A Shame!

I found this quote today:

It’s a difficult thing to be out about. Homosexuality is okay. Depression and ADHD are fairly well mainstream. Multiple is a big stigma. Especially, when, like me, one has not been “diagnosed” by a “medical professional”. I feel like I’m … less than real.Learning to Say Yes, Feb 2009

It reminded me of the level of stigma and prejudices Multiples have to deal with every day. Although Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) and having Multiple Personalities has become mainstream entertainment recently in the US through the new TV series "The United States of Tara", I wonder whether the show's over-the-top representation of the life of a Multiple is rather hindering people to let their friends and colleagues know "I am a Multiple". Of course, I understand that the producers of the show had to demonstrate the switching into different parts in an over the top way – the average viewer would not pick up the subtle cues and the different emotional energy that normally signals a switch has taken place.

I Don’t Want To Talk About Sexual Abuse

Childhood abuse, be it physical, emotional, mental, or sexual, has a lasting impact on people. Unfortunately, often they are not even aware that they are affected by it. They live out the abuse on a daily basis: by not trusting others or themselves, by being unable to feel, by being unable to regulate their emotions, by being distressed, reacting over the top, having no self-confidence, feeling depressed, anxious, suicidal. And the list could go on and on.

Many people I speak to tell me that they don't want to digg up the past, don't want to talk about it, don't want to open a can of worms, or don't feel able to deal with it. They want to get over it, leave things in the past, leave sleeping dogs lie!

Unfortunately it doesn't work like that. You either deal with it, or you live it. I often hear "I can't afford to see someone and deal with it". My response to that is "Can you afford NOT to deal with it?" People find money for cigarettes, alcohol, cars, mortgages, presents, friends, kids, … but not for themselves, not for their own mental sanity and well-being. This does not seem to be a priority in their lives. Off course, this too is a legacy of child abuse.

Read here how any childhood stress affects you and becomes deeply woven into your physical being, your identity, and your personality. Maybe it helps you to see clearer what your next steps are!

How Can You Get Over Childhood Stress?

I have been asked how people get over childhood stress. In my mind it is a question of recovering from whatever stressors have been present in people's lives. Because it's a generic question and not specifically aimed at DID, I posted it on my therapy blog. It's the first article in a series of two that explains the physiological processes involved in being affected by childhood stresses such as abuse, neglect, or other forms of trauma. If this topic interests you, pop over and read on ….

Beat The Early Morning Stress

 "It's 6:30 a.m.
and the "rise and shine" song bellows through the house as the little
squeaks and groans respond to the early morning alarm.

It's time
to get the little one's ready for school/daycare and make sure they are
properly dressed and fed before running out the door. You can either
fly by the seat of your pants and hope that everything is taken care
of, or you can follow a few simple steps to make your mornings fun and
stress-free".

ME and My Parts

Today I want to talk about an interesting phenomenon: it’s “Me and My Parts”. Often I hear from a client: “My angry part is out of control, I can’t trust my xxx-part, I struggle with my teenage part”, or something similar. Others don’t want to know about ‘their’ parts because they get in the way of them working, studying, or socialising. Some people even want to get rid of their parts.

Somehow language limitations get in the way of capturing human reality. “ME” implies some sort of superiority or leadership whereas “my parts” imply somehow subordination or dependency. If we take the stereotype of “the ost” for example, who functions reasonably good in the here and now, has ittle or no memories and/or little or no feelings. Is that “ME”? Or is “ME” he parts (or alters) that are often younger than the body’s age, who have more historical memory and often hold the feelings?