On the first glance people may ask “What has co-consciousness to do with loving yourself and accepting all the different parts of you?” My answer to that is “Everything!”
If there is a part of you that you dislike, are afraid of, or even feel disgust for, you will stay away from that part ‘full stop’. If co-consciousness means to know to a large extend what other parts know, feel what they feel, and be able to act as they act, staying away from a part of you will increase the walls that divide you and prevent co-consciousness, not decrease them.
I have written in other posts on this blog about finding compassion for yourself, starting to like your parts, and understanding why they – sometimes – may act in ways that are not helpful nowadays, but has been crucial for survival when you were young.
Of course, part of the problems is the “My parts and me” division that makes it easy for people to claim that the unpleasant, disapproved unwanted behaviour in not ME but THEM. Well, let me tell you: all the conflicts the world has seen throughout history are rooted in ‘ME is different and better than THEM’. It ain’t gonna work! It never has! It never will!
I often get to hear “That’s all fine, but what about such and such behaviour or action. This is totally unacceptable and completely against my morals” I will have to say “No, it isn’t, because you are doing it. You and other parts chose (by turning away from that part) to not pay attention to what is going on and miss the opportunity to intervene. If you all would work together and pay attention to each other, you would be so much stronger energy-wise that the ‘offending’ part. You could stop it!”
That might sound pretty harsh here on paper. When I talk to someone in person, I always make sure that they know I do understand that being able to pay attention to each other is a process that it is harder or even impossible to do at the beginning of therapy than later on when a lot of trauma has been dealt with.
It comes down to forgiving yourself for not having been able to stop some of your actions, thoughts, and feelings that you now feel ashamed about. We all can only do the right thing as much as our awareness and consciousness allows.