Strong Feelings of Connection in Therapy

A wee while ago I have been asked " I don't understand how it is that I (and so many others I assume), can feel such a strong connection to a therapist when we only see each other one hour a week.  There is nothing I have read that says this is or is not healthy and I find that the connection really bothers me. I don't understand it and I can't seem to accept that it is healthy given the circumstance that I am actually an adult".

That reminded me of how conflictual the concept of caring in therapy is – maybe its worthwhile writing a bit more about it. Those who have followed my writings over the years will have a fair idea that I subscribe pretty much to the Beatle song "All you need is Love". But in a lot of therapeutic circles that is a very 'DANGEROUS' concept. Even though we call these professions caring professions or helping professions, showing caring to clients can be seen as the clinician being over-involved, not objective, being carried away. Clients or patients who come seeking help more often than not are reduced to numbers, cases, and diagnostic criteria: a perfect strategy for the clinican to remain uninvolved and untouched by the clients suffering.

Identifying Personal Responses to Conflict Situations

When it comes to dealing effectively with conflict situations, knowing about your own conflict style will come as a great help. Everybody reacts differently to conflict. Basically, how we react to conflict, what triggers conflict, and what constitutes vulnerable areas to could lead to conflict depends very much on a person’s history and his/her formative experiences in childhood. For example, growing up in a family where conflict often led to violence might cause a child to grow up dealing with conflict either by acting violently or by avoiding it altogether.