Feeling Good or Feeling Bad

Giraffe Have you ever had somebody telling you that they ''feel good" or "feel bad"? A great variant of that is when someone says "Not too bad"!.  I get to hear that all the time. Of course, such utterings don't tell me anything. How bad is bad, or how good is good? And what on earth is "not too bad"?

Emotions are not just a handful of feelings. There are hundreds of feelings and distinctions that, when used wisely, communicate very well how people are feeling. In order to be understood and helped by a friend, partner, or therapist, you need to let the person know what kind of good or what kind of bad you are feeling.

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6 thoughts on “Feeling Good or Feeling Bad

  1. vicki says:

    You know what, I do appreciate being asked by someone once a week: How are you? And someone wanting a real response even if it is just a therapeutic exercise. I would miss that i think.

  2. vicki says:

    I’m thinking i should give my therapist a thrill and announce that I am really angry! I could even add in a bonus gift and hit a cushion claiming it was my mother and use some wonderful angry adjectives. We then could celebrate huge progress made and toast our glasses to ‘cured’! hooray.
    I apologize for being facetious but anger is really not something I have a good understanding of yet. I recognize sometimes that it may be the root of some headaches for me and I know my behaviors spell out anger sometimes but this only bewilders me and others as it never really makes sense.

  3. uznco says:

    LOl!!! I have also felt all of these things too. Oh one thing I sometimes say is “Well under the circumstances” which could mean that I am under the circumstances,or well! considering the circumstances. So I let people take that as they want to. If they really want to know they may say what circumstances? or what circumstances are you under and then it depends if you want to answer that too… or they may just say oh thats good. But there is a way for both. If you don’t want to answer it you can say ‘oh ya know just the circumstances of life;’ etc

  4. s says:

    Sometimes my therapist asks, after a particularly gruelling part of a session, ‘How are you feeling now?’ It always takes me by surprise and I never have any idea of how I’m feeling. It’s like I,m in a daze. Maybe I’ll have to make a list of feelings and try to identify a particular one rather than a generalization. I’m going to try this. There is a start of a list in Gudruns blog The Function of Feelings. I’ll work on it.

  5. vicki says:

    I don’t know if I have ever really answered the question- ‘how are you’ – honestly in the past. If someone asked ‘how are you’ I would give the best possible answer – the one the person would most like to hear. I have been confronted with this in therapy and it really makes me think. I do use fine a lot and I know its not a great answer but it seems the most accurate, not good nor bad – fine is coping like ‘fine weather’. Fine means I am not bleeding, crying or dying. ‘How are you’ – is such a general question you need a general response.
    Often I feel nauseous and I have to think hard where its coming from – for example: am I worried about something? Sometimes I can figure out what it is and often I can’t. Other times I feel like I have broken glass in my chest and I think am I sad? and I just don’t know.
    I don’t think I know anyone who really wants me to answer this genuinely at the moment so I guess i have plenty of time just practising this with my therapist!

  6. uznco says:

    Ha! Well, that sounds easy!!! Not always!!! Sometimes you feel bad because your not feeling good and sometimes your feeling good cause your not feeling bad but either actually mean that your good or bad. How do you measure it is my question? Often you just don’t know what kind of good or bad you are feeling. Your just feeling. I get confused with all this feeling stuff… like I ready recently you feel what you feel and you can’t just explain it away, or talk yourself out of feeling that way. It sometimes just is! You could actually be feeling good and bad at the same time. But often I find myself saying good before the person even asks me how I am? Cause you know the question is coming… You meet up with someone or see people and the first thing they say hi ya! how are you!! I put exclamation marks cause often its not even a question. Its just what ya say! Sometimes I find myself thinking before I answer, thinking well do they really want to know how I am? Often times – not! so why do we ask that question? Is it ‘pc’ to ask. So Good becomes the automatic response. This is bugging me cause like most people don’t really want to really know how you are… Unless its someone close and the way they ask you can decipher in how you should answer. If its your counsellor she want you to be real… so often I try not to even answer it. the word ‘fine’ or ‘f.i.n.e.’ is another one. I guess fine is my way of saying I’m not ok or I don’t want to say good cause I don’t exactly feel good and I have the feeling the person really doesn’t want to know so ‘fine’ is the word I use so I’m actually saying I’m not fine with out saying I’m good or bad. Its another pc word that is acceptable. Of course except with people who know me well. They know!!!

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