Understanding Feelings

Many theories about feelings exists and it can be a little bit confusing to make sense of all the different opinions (see Wikipedia). I am going to present a view that is informed by NLP and has proven useful in my practice over the years.

Stripped to the bare bones we can say that feelings are just information. They are feedback that informs people about their experiences.

Seeing feelings in this light, it doesn’t make sense to label them good or bad. They just are. Feelings tell you something about what is going on around you and propel you to take action. The following is a schematic view of how feelings come about. 

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One thought on “Understanding Feelings

  1. uznco says:

    Yeah, I am a bit confused too. I tend to agree that a feeling is a feeling and you can’t ‘just’ have it – to me that too makes it insignificant. I recently went to therapy and was all prepared to face my anger – which is a very scary part to uz. I was told anger doesn’t have to be scary its just an emotion. Its not the emotion that is scary its what you do with it. Its a process just go with it. So I have been trying to go with it and I don’t think that I am a very nice person to be around. I have no tolerance level and am being judgemental. So I have withdrawn back into my home, and cleared my calender (although with school starting next week I have 2 lectures to go) I am determined to face this anger but all I end up doing is cleaning. I don’t want to be around people, yet I feel absolutely desolate. I feel so sad and so empty and yip even the numbness comes back at times. I feel like I am crashing and going backwards. Agh!!! Grrr!!! this is so frustrating. At least I have a clean house!!!

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