Category Archives: Control Issues

Achieving Co-Consciousness: Self-Acceptance-And-Love

On the first glance people may ask “What has co-consciousness to do with loving yourself and accepting all the different parts of you?” My answer to that is “Everything!” If there is a part of you that you dislike, are afraid of, or even feel disgust for, you will stay away from that part ‘full …

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How Does Anger Become Pathological?

Anger becomes pathological when a person has over a long time mismanaged their anger. This starts in most cases already in childhood when children are raised within a family and/or society in which children's expression of affect and especially of anger is discouraged or even punished. These are families in which children are maybe see, …

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The Body Pays The Price

Leonie was very tired. Her shoulders have dropped and her head had fallen forward resting on her chest. Unable to muster the strength needed for balancing her head upright on her fatigued body, Leonie feels the floor opening and becoming a vortex inviting her into the never ending downwards spiral.  She hears a seductive whisper …

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How To Build Trust

How can you go about building trust? When you don’t trust anybody at all, it might seem like an unachievable task. I want to look at building trust from a practical, pragmatic point in the hope that it might give you some hands-one ideas how to go about it. Trust will develop in any group …

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Trust and be Trusted

As some of you may know, I am in the process of putting all my material about DID and recovery into a book form, so that ideas explored in this blog, from my practice, and from research (my own and others) can be integrated to form a functional whole. As I was working on that …

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Improving Internal Communication: The 6 Thinking Hats

Today I am going be a bit technical. I would like to suggest a technique developed by Edward De Bono in the 1980’s for communication with your system as you go about negotiating decisions or look for solutions to problems. De Bono thought of six metaphorical hats a person can put on or take off, …

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ME and My Parts

Today I want to talk about an interesting phenomenon: it’s “Me and My Parts”. Often I hear from a client: “My angry part is out of control, I can’t trust my xxx-part, I struggle with my teenage part”, or something similar. Others don’t want to know about ‘their’ parts because they get in the way …

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Testing Therapists

Once a connection has been made, the therapist had to prove her trustworthiness. Making a connection with the therapist is a process that has to be repeated over and over again until such a time when the client is putting all her negative expectations aside and starts trusting the therapist. Only then is progress in …

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Control as Obstacle to Therapy

When trust between DID client and therapist has not been established yet or has broken down, then clients reported that control techniques turned out to create a hindrance to recovery. These techniques impacted negatively on the therapeutic relationship, which is the cornerstone of successful therapy and recovery.

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Control Through Changing Therapist

When therapy did not provide the DID client with good enough experiences, or when for example transferential issues were not satisfactorily resolved, some clients attempted to salvage control by terminating with their therapist and looking for another one. The most striking feature of this first stage of therapy is that clients cannot exit this stage …

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