#1 Common DID Myth

Myth # 1: It’s easy to spot if someone has DID (Multiple Personalities)

This (like this picture) is what you’d expect if you believe the depictions of DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder), former MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder) in movies or TV. They are weird looking, weird behaving, and easy to spot. And if you take the latest movies featuring a main character with DID (Glass, Split) you better be careful, because THEY are lethal on top of being weird.

I’ve just released the psychological thriller GIRL FROM THE TREE HOUSE about Elise, a woman with multiple personalities who’s fighting for her sanity and freedom as she is accused of murder. A friend of mine said the other day, “Watch out, soon you get a movie contract for the book.”

I had to disappoint her because, movies especially, sell bizarre, exaggerated, sensationalized portrayals with heaps of horror, blood, preferably good looking young girls stabbed to death…and perhaps even a landing of an alien spaceship thrown in. So I’m not staying awake waiting for Hollywood to knock at my door.

The reality of living with DID is much more mundane, much more subtle. Often friends, colleagues, or neighbors don’t have a clue. Even professional health providers don’t always notice. People with DID can spend years in the health system without being diagnosed. Co-morbidity is high among them. Topping the list are severe depression, PTSD, eating disorders, and substance abuse. If treatment focuses on the latter, the person with DID will not get much better.

My aim with my book is to debunk the myths about DID and show the heartwrenching and heartwarming struggle they call ‘life’ as well as show pathways of recovery…all wrapped into a thrilling plot. Sorry, no human monsters, no silence of the lambs. The ordinary, daily life delivers excitement enough.

I think I achieve it, going by the reviews that are coming in, for example:

What an incredible story! Stepping into the world of a person with multiple personalities was fascinating. This psychological thriller will keep you on the edge of your seat. Beautifully written, hauntingly powerful, and a true testament to the power of the human spirit. Highly recommended. (Leeanna Morgan, USA Today bestselling author, BookBub)

Easily the best book I’ve read about DID (dissociative identity disorder, or multiple personality disorder) with clear insight into how, why and when the personalities surfaced and interacted with each other, and how it affected the life of a young girl in New Zealand.
This helped me understand much more about how the disorder can consume the mind and life of people and how their emotional well being is further constrained by society’s stigma and their own fear of being hospitalized.
Well written and engaging, I look forward to the next book in this new series.
Thank you to the publisher and author for sharing this e-book ARC for review. (Dorie, Goodreads)

What do you think? If you haven’t read it yet, get your copy and let me know if I achieved what I set out to do. I love hearing from you.

Is it like the United States of Tara?

This article was previously published in “The Voices in the Tree House Blog.” I put it here for two reasons. 1) I’m interested to hear what people thought about the TV series. There are so many conflicting opinions out there, including some very nasty stuff. I can only shake my head when I read some of the venomous comments.

2) I’d like to spread the word about the book I’ve written. It’s in the post-production phase they would call it in the movies. A few more weeks. I have worked with multiples–I still call it multiples… the term DID never DID jell with me. I guess I’m oldfashioned like that–for 25 years and am deeply saddened by the misconstructions and misunderstanding multiples have to deal with. Not much has improved since I started this blog 11 years ago. With my book Girl From The Tree House, I’m portraying the inner world of a multiple (written from the alters/parts point of view) and how they deal with some nasty stuff that equally nasty people throw at them.

This is what Elise, one of the characters of the book, had to say:…

“We’ve had a long discussion among us about who should write this post. Nobody wanted to step up. All these people speaking about us is not what we anticipated. Yes, we wanted to take part in portraying a more realistic life of a person who has multiple parts to their personality and is diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder than what is often found in books or the movies. Honestly, I’d rather buckle down and move on to the next book. I’ve been told it takes getting this one finished first, and it takes some more polishing before it can be published. *rolling my eyes*

I, that is Elise, drew the short straw. We are often asked if the GIRL FROM THE TREE HOUSE is like the ‘United States of Tara’, you know, the TV series that ran from 2009-2011.

The short answer is, I don’t know. I never watched the series. I watched the trailers and several bits and pieces online recently. To some of what we saw we can relate. Although, most of it is like… whoa over the top. They called it a comedy-drama. I completely missed the comedy bit.

Either way, living with DID is not funny. It’s not a Peek-a-boo game we forgot to substitute with Cluedo or Chess as we got older. It’s pretty hard work to keep functioning as a team and making life work for us.

What surprised me was that parts behaved badly without consequences or regard for the system and others around them. If we would have done only s.o.m.e of what ‘T’ or ‘Buck’ (Tara’s parts) got up to, Sky would have stepped in and Ama would have given us a piece of her mind. (No, not the belt, we don’t do that nasty stuff.) Perhaps some people with DID might behave like that (or kill people like in the movie SPLIT) but they would be exceptions and not the norm.

Overall, from what I watched, I feel the series let people with multiple personalities down. I guess, showing ‘normal’ life wouldn’t be exciting enough for the makers of TV series. For us, though, our ‘normal’ has enough hair raising moments, especially when the people from our past show up.

What can I say? You’ve got to wait until the book comes out. It shouldn’t be too much longer.”

If you are curious about the book and its release date, subscribe to my newsletter here. I’m not sending them out very often (I rather keep writing on my next story).

From Research to Practice to Fiction

Since the early Nineties, I’ve been passionate about the wonderful women and men I met in my private practice who went on the sometimes odious path of recovery from childhood abuse. I’m sure if people knew how many obstacles they have to climb and how many hoops they have to jump through, many would think recovery is not possible.

But it is!

I’ve seen it many, many times. Never have I seized to be amazed by the courage and determination I’ve seen in survivors. That determination and courage spoke of Life’s force to be whole and healthy.

It wasn’t an easy decision to take my shindle off my door and retire. But it was time for me. My body told me, enough is enough. Looking back over the last five years in retirement, I know never again to ignore the wisdom of my body.

I became a writer. Well, maybe I always was, writing stuff in here for the last 11 years. After a wee detour into writing romance novels–I never would have learned about writing without the amazing women in my Wellington romance writers group and the NZ romance writer’s conference–I’m now writing about Elise, a woman with multiple personalities, who fights for her sanity and freedom as she’s framed for murder.

It’s fiction… made up, but certainly partially based on my experiences over the many years in my private practice. I’ve seen the struggles, witnessed the inner fights. My aim is to write Elise’s story from a point of authenticity, that is rarely found in the writing, fiction or non-fiction, about MPD. Maybe that way I can contribute to change the strange picture that is still painted about people with multiple personalities.

The characters of the book started their own website a few days ago and told me I’m not allowed to interfere. I hope all goes well and cross my fingers! You can check it out here!

I’m interested in gathering a small group of people with intimate knowledge about the struggles and joys multiplicity brings to read through my chapters and tell me where I’m off track and, hopefully, where I’m spot-on. If that is you, please email me, using the contact form.

That’s me for now. It’s almost Christmas, and I wish you a safe, peaceful holiday. Take Care!

 

ACC: The Modern Brothers Grimm

 Has anyone seen today's article in the New Zealand Herald about ACC failing to help most sexual abuse survivors? Follow the link to read the whole thing – or get the paper out, it's on page 4. It mentions that we are having the survivor summit this coming Sunday, which is a good thing! It's hard enough to get supportive media coverage for the plight of survivors. What did irk me off was Denise Cosgrosve's (ACC General Manager of Claims Management) comment: 

ACC: The Modern Brothers Grimm

 Has anyone seen today's article in the New Zealand Herald about ACC failing to help most sexual abuse survivors? Follow the link to read the whole thing – or get the paper out, it's on page 4. It mentions that we are having the survivor summit this coming Sunday, which is a good thing! It's hard enough to get supportive media coverage for the plight of survivors. What did irk me off was Denise Cosgrosve's (ACC General Manager of Claims Management) comment: 

How to support your friends and family who are traumatised

In the wake of drastic cuts of funding for survivors of childhood sexual abuse, my colleage Graz Amber has prepared a pamphlet for "HOW TO HELP" that might come in handy when people can't get the services they urgently need and might have come to rely on. Graz was so kind to allow this pamphlet to be published here:

Hearing of threats to the ACC Sensitive Claims service, particularly if it is your lifeline, could act as a possible trigger for retraumatisation [stressful and unhelpful re-experiencing of trauma] or secondary trauma [ coping with emotional and traumatic stuff in others takes it out on your body, mind and soul too ]. Here is what you could expect:

Mother Issues: August Edition Blog Carnival

The August Edition of the Blog Carnival "Recovery From Sexual Abuse" is published. This month article have been submitted and selected that address the difficult topic of "MOTHERS" and the issues that arise.

There are the mothers that stand alongside the survivor and offer great support and help for the recovery. Other mothers are distant, not-believing, or even perpetrators themselves.

Either way, survivors struggle with mother issues and a lot of time in therapy is spent processing the pain that one's mother was not there, able, or willing to protect the child from being abused. 

Go to the homepage of the Blog Carnival RECOVERY FROM SEXUAL ABUSE for the articles.

Next month's edition will present blog posts that explore the topic of ANGER. If you come across a blog post that deals with anger, please support the blogger and the cause of raising the awareness of sexual abuse by submitting the article on my Carnival Submission Page.

Carnival Edition July 2009: The Body

Another edition of the 'Blog Carnival Recovery from Sexual Abuse' is
out. The latest topic we explored was the impact of sexual abuse on a person's body. As always, a wide variety of contributions have been posted and I trust you will find interesting information. Follow this link 

Child Abuse Linked To Cancer

I have just come across a new study that has stirred up in me a great concern. In this study the researchers found that people who have experienced abuse in childhood have a 46% higher chance to develop cancer later in life. It made it clear to me that those organisations that fight publicly against child abuse may need more support and involvement from those who have experienced abuse in their childhood.

Please, take the time to read the publication and then see how you can involve yourself in the fight against child abuse.

Fighting Child Abuse!

The New Zealand media is full at the moment with reports from a horrific child abuse case that cost the life of a little 3 year old girl. It has to stop! It has to stop!I love this song. It's a call to stand up and be counted!
http://www.youtube.com/v/x6-5g78Nr6Q&hl=en&fs=1