Category Archives: Relationships with Others

Moving Past Sexual Abuse Group Starting Soon

Raeburn House, Auckland, New Zealand, is running another Moving Past Sexual Abuse group. In the past the group was organised as a support group in which participants would be surrounded by survivors who understood their experiences and sharing one’s stories and supporting each other was the strongest emphasis. This new Moving Past Sexual Abuse group is …

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Looking for the good in people

I came across an article about Human Goodness this morning, that got me thinking about how difficult it is for many survivors of abuse to hold on to the goodness in people. You only have to watch the latest news on TV or open the newspaper: you see human cruelty, mayhem, and disaster wherever you …

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Victim or Survivor?

Nobody likes to be the victim. It’s a powerless role and people get rather upset when it is pointed out to them that they are in a ‘victim role’. In fact, being called a victim is often seen as an insult. Being in the victim role is very much a child like state. Children are …

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Identifying Personal Responses to Conflict Situations

When it comes to dealing effectively with conflict situations, knowing about your own conflict style will come as a great help. Everybody reacts differently to conflict. Basically, how we react to conflict, what triggers conflict, and what constitutes vulnerable areas to could lead to conflict depends very much on a person’s history and his/her formative …

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What is Conflict

Most people have a clear idea what conflict is. Most people don’t like conflict. In most cases conflict is difficult and hurtful for all parties involved. Social theorist Axel Honneth explains the significant role conflict plays for a person’s healthy sense of identity and individualisation as follows: Individuals learn about who they are through interactions …

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Achieving Co-Consciousness: Healing Narcissistic Self-Parts

In general I have a great aversion against labels – certainly against psychiatric labels that put a person into a defined box. Labels often have a stigma attached to the, for example DID, borderline, bipolar, or narcissistic. I am going to use narcissistic self parts here because if anyone wants to read up on this …

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How To Deal With Anger

Anger is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s a normal reaction to being abused, betrayed, hurt, or otherwise disrespected. The important question is how to deal with anger appropriately. It is really important to remember that: for many (survivors of abuse) anger is associated with strong feelings of fear, anxiety, guilt, or shame because often …

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What Is Passive Aggressive Behaviour

Conflict situations with an angry person are characterised by noticeable contact in the form of friction or even collision. The angry person’s point of view and wants are generally obvious whether they are unrealistic or not. This is very different when dealing with passive aggressive behaviours. Like pathological anger, passive aggressiveness is caused by a …

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What Is A Pathologically Angry Person?

How will you know whether you or a person close to you is a pathologically angry person? A sure sign is when you notice a pervasive behavioural pattern that can range from being negative, irritable, bitter, resentful, or having temper tantrums on one side to being hostile, aggressive, self-destructive, furious, or having regular rage attacks …

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How Does Anger Become Pathological?

Anger becomes pathological when a person has over a long time mismanaged their anger. This starts in most cases already in childhood when children are raised within a family and/or society in which children's expression of affect and especially of anger is discouraged or even punished. These are families in which children are maybe see, …

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